So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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