i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
