Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Boobs speak an international language.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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