I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
