You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
