He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
