they need to just BURY HIM!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
