I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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