I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
