I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
