also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize