Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
