he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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