we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
