He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
