Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
