Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
