Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
