Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
