ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
