Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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