hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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