i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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