i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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