Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
