I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
