member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
