hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
