Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
