my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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