he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
