Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
