You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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