I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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