oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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