3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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