Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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