i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
