On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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