You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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