i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
one might say we're banned from that church
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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