OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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