I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
