His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
