i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize