Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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