pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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