it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
