After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
