I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
