yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
