the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
