Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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