Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
