My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
