i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
