im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
